Letting go of the myths

The other the day I was heading to dinner with some friends, about 5 minutes into the drive they started comparing themselves to each other and who had the worse, cellulite, fat, back, etc. It was interesting; I began to float off into my own thoughts and remembered recently hanging out with a group of my male friends. When they get together they too did a little comparing of their own, but it was about who was cooler, better, bigger…haha It amazed me that these women were going on and on about how inept they were, their insecurities and such. I wondered if we are “supposed” to not like ourselves. I stayed very quiet in the back and almost felt shunned for not having anything bad to say about myself. Sure, I’d like to be as thin as Reese Witherspoon or have Halle Berry’s boobs, but those are my own thoughts they don’t really make it into public conversation.


I begin to wonder if we are teaching other young women in our generation to dislike themselves because that’s the norm. My mom says some women do it so the girl next to them goes “Oh no, you’re so pretty, so thin…” This kind of talking can’t be good for those around us.  John always told me how much he hated when his male friends talked bad about their girlfriends or wives; he said it always made them look stupid. I think it’s the same for women who talk horribly about themselves and their bodies.  Now don’t get me wrong, girl talk is needed a little pouting about this and that, I think that’s normal and sometimes we have to talk about our struggles with our weight, breasts, etc. but to bash ourselves, well, it’s not healthy.


I remember at one women’s get together my friend Nadine asked “how come you’re not in your 6 inch shoes”. I replied “fat people shouldn’t wear heels”. She gave me this sad look and said “don’t ever talk about yourself like that, it’s not pretty. I always teach my girls to let go of those myths they create for themselves, you should too.” That comment she made, still sticks with me. She’s right, there is no law about fat people and high heels, heck, I’ve got killer legs and to be honest, they look even more killer in a pair of six inch patent leather stilettos. We limit ourselves, on purpose, almost like when a fat person walks in a room and makes a fat joke. The underlining agenda being:  “Hey, I know I’m fat, you know I’m fat, maybe if I make this joke so you know I know, you won’t make fun of me.” I’ve seen people do that and it breaks my heart, they are setting an example of hatred for themselves. As I sat in the backseat waiting for them to ask me what my worse body part was, I thought, I’ll answer “well, sure I could lose some weight but hey, I think I’m pretty awesome. I like myself.”


I believe it’s important to like yourself even with the extra 5 pounds, the freckles, the one breast smaller than the other, whatever your insecurity may be, it’s important to love it. Being best friends with that cellulite on your hips is not easy, especially during swim suit season, but does that cellulite rule your life? Does it tell you you’re not worth it, your ugly? Let go of the myths you create…besides, who can even notice that cellulite with your beautiful smile lighting up a room.  Nadine was right, talking about yourself and your body as if it’s your #1 enemy is ugly. So put a little pretty in your life and let’s encourage ourselves and other women we talk with, to discuss how beautiful they are, let’s uplift others because we all know the world is doing a good job on its own of keeping us down!