You're Worth It...

"Your worth it" he said to me on the phone, explaining why he was leaving a two week, out of the country, missions trip early.  I don't know if anyone has ever told you you're worth it, but those of you who haven't, know how much it means, how much those three little words can mean to a heart. I've never been told that before.

  I miscarried at 8 weeks, four days before he was to come home from Oaxaca. "When your mom told me, I immediately knew I needed to come home and be with my family" my dad said. As he spoke, we stumbled all over each other's words, talking at the same time. Me crying, I could hear him yearning to be home with his family, wishing to hug me through the phone.

I hate tender moments like that. I know, hate is a strong word, that's what my mom says, but honestly, I hate them. I feel vulnerable and with vulnerability, at least in my mined, comes shame and embarrassment, being this open with my heart is hard for me. Before my son Dennon was born,he made me this beautiful bassinet, he's an amazing carpenter. It rocked back and forth and was breathtaking, it evoked so much emotion in me, that I couldn't speak.  There's something about a father, daughter moment, that pains me. Brings me so much joy and hurt at the same time.

 My daughter heart is healing. It's been healing since I was eleven. That's when my dad, left to Arizona, he left mom, he left Teka, our dog, he left our house, he left me. When my mom married Bill, it was a second chance to feel loved. Worthy. Important. Like a daughter. However, even though my heart said it wanted that, it also had convinced me that I was too old to have a daddy. Though Bill and I have grown closer and he's been such an important person in my healing, growth, devotion to Jesus, I still keep him a safe distance away from my heart.

That day on the phone with him, talking over each other, crying, laughing, yearning to hold each other, something broke. As I was relaying the conversation to my mom, I felt like a giggly teen, like my love was coming home to see me and I was so excited. It was an odd feeling for me, but just as I was thinking about it, I was reminded that that's how God feels for me. He's my love coming home from something we all thought was more important, and should be more important, than me, than this situation. He's jumping on a plane at the break of dawn to race home and embrace his love, to hold me in his arms, and tell me everything is going to be alright. It's a sappy love story, but this heart, this little eleven year old girl heart wasn't looking for prince charming, it was looking for daddy to save the day, and he was, just like in the movies, he was coming home.

The first day I realized I was going to be miscarrying this baby, I asked the Lord to comfort me, I told him that I needed to feel him holding me. To send himself to me and hold me close in this scary and devastating moment. I couldn't feel him and I was so hurt. As I hung up the phone with Bill, I was reminded of that moment. I knew God was there, but I couldn't feel him. I couldn't envision him there because my daughter heart was closed off, so he sent me Bill.  The daddy who got up and onto a bus at 4:00am for a 6 hr drive. Who flew all day across the country to arrive home to me at 12:00am, just to hold me close, to comfort me, to tell me everything is going to be okay.

My savior, he died on a cross for me and though, that should be all I need, he still understood my pain and sent me Bill to be an example of how far a father will go, to be with, rescue, comfort, the ones he loves.

A realization of fears...

I’ve realized this evening that my life has been a realization of fears. When I was little I was terrified of my parents getting a divorce, then one day a few weeks before Christmas when I was eleven, they did. I’ve always been terrified of losing a parent, scared of them dying. I would cry and stay up nights just thinking about it. As a teen I lost one of my “spiritual “ parents, a women I was proud to think of as my second mom, she died of breast cancer, I was by her side when she took her last breath.

Now here, I may be miscarrying this child, and in the midst of this fear coming to life I’ve realized I have no idea how to grieve. I’ve always hated it, ashamed of it. I want to scream, yell, throw things, and hit someone, curse, blame, and point fingers in anger.  I want to give into those childish reactions but every time I start to feel that way, I hear my good friend Jordi singing “Praise you in this storm”. I had her sing it in the pitch black one Wed. night to my Converse kids. It was a long time ago, but I can hear her clear as day, comforting my soul as I lay in bed ready to fight. I close my eyes to listen to her sing and I see myself standing in the middle of an abandoned street, naked , ( why am I naked, since, I don’t like being naked, when I’m naked ..ha!), with rain falling down on me. I know it means I’m vulnerable; I’m without my clothes to keep me dry, protect me from getting sick.  I realize that even if I feel naked in a rainfall, with no protection, God is there. I feel like this scene is supposed to remind me that though I feel abandoned out in this painful, cold, place, God hasn’t left me. I’m in this vulnerable position, not by anyone’s choice, but he’s still there. Between every rain drop, he’s there. Between every tear, he’s there. Between every cry out to the pitch dark, he’s there. He’s there in the melody of Jordi’s voice, soothing me back to him. He’s there even when I don’t voice my pain or anger to him, he’s there.

In the midst of all my life’s “tragedies” he is still good. How is he good? Well, for one, I’m still breathing. And if we do lose this little baby, whose heartbeat was so strong but a week ago, he’ll still be good. How will he be? To be honest, I don’t know, I can’t answer that right now and may not be able to until I see that little baby again in his arms in heaven.  However, my unknowing, doesn’t waver my belief that he is good, because in a world full of tragedies, he redeemed the grief I gave birth to, my mom remarried an amazing man. He stepped in, loved me as a father should and created a bond with my broken daughter heart. When Jacqueline died, she left, leaving a path full of changing histories in people’s hearts, she made a difference.

I know that there will be more fears realized in my life and probably some I didn’t even know scared me, and though each one will present another feeling of an abandoned road, I know I’ll learn more about myself and be able to teach my son one day all those things I learned. Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather trade in those tragedies in an instant, I’m not one to say “I’ll take the painful road so I can become a better person”.  No thanks! But since I’m here anyway, I might as well learn how to breath in the storm, how to be in the storm, how to lean on His strength in the storm. So that one day, when the fears my son has, are being realized, he’ll stand in the rain and remember that God is good. God is love. And God will never leave him on that abandoned road in the rain, no matter how convinced he is of it.  Maybe in those moments, he’ll hear me singing to him “I am your beloved”, nd the truth  of God’s love will continue to be taught, to his children, and so forth.

Letting go of the myths

The other the day I was heading to dinner with some friends, about 5 minutes into the drive they started comparing themselves to each other and who had the worse, cellulite, fat, back, etc. It was interesting; I began to float off into my own thoughts and remembered recently hanging out with a group of my male friends. When they get together they too did a little comparing of their own, but it was about who was cooler, better, bigger…haha It amazed me that these women were going on and on about how inept they were, their insecurities and such. I wondered if we are “supposed” to not like ourselves. I stayed very quiet in the back and almost felt shunned for not having anything bad to say about myself. Sure, I’d like to be as thin as Reese Witherspoon or have Halle Berry’s boobs, but those are my own thoughts they don’t really make it into public conversation.


I begin to wonder if we are teaching other young women in our generation to dislike themselves because that’s the norm. My mom says some women do it so the girl next to them goes “Oh no, you’re so pretty, so thin…” This kind of talking can’t be good for those around us.  John always told me how much he hated when his male friends talked bad about their girlfriends or wives; he said it always made them look stupid. I think it’s the same for women who talk horribly about themselves and their bodies.  Now don’t get me wrong, girl talk is needed a little pouting about this and that, I think that’s normal and sometimes we have to talk about our struggles with our weight, breasts, etc. but to bash ourselves, well, it’s not healthy.


I remember at one women’s get together my friend Nadine asked “how come you’re not in your 6 inch shoes”. I replied “fat people shouldn’t wear heels”. She gave me this sad look and said “don’t ever talk about yourself like that, it’s not pretty. I always teach my girls to let go of those myths they create for themselves, you should too.” That comment she made, still sticks with me. She’s right, there is no law about fat people and high heels, heck, I’ve got killer legs and to be honest, they look even more killer in a pair of six inch patent leather stilettos. We limit ourselves, on purpose, almost like when a fat person walks in a room and makes a fat joke. The underlining agenda being:  “Hey, I know I’m fat, you know I’m fat, maybe if I make this joke so you know I know, you won’t make fun of me.” I’ve seen people do that and it breaks my heart, they are setting an example of hatred for themselves. As I sat in the backseat waiting for them to ask me what my worse body part was, I thought, I’ll answer “well, sure I could lose some weight but hey, I think I’m pretty awesome. I like myself.”


I believe it’s important to like yourself even with the extra 5 pounds, the freckles, the one breast smaller than the other, whatever your insecurity may be, it’s important to love it. Being best friends with that cellulite on your hips is not easy, especially during swim suit season, but does that cellulite rule your life? Does it tell you you’re not worth it, your ugly? Let go of the myths you create…besides, who can even notice that cellulite with your beautiful smile lighting up a room.  Nadine was right, talking about yourself and your body as if it’s your #1 enemy is ugly. So put a little pretty in your life and let’s encourage ourselves and other women we talk with, to discuss how beautiful they are, let’s uplift others because we all know the world is doing a good job on its own of keeping us down!

Dead Skin

I have psoriasis, eczema, dry skin…basically every kind of skin condition under the sun. Luckily, I’ve got a handle on how to deal with it and though I have had flare ups my whole life, I’m able to keep it pretty balanced.

One thing I’ve found that helps, but is super painful at the same time, is shedding dead skin. (Sorry for the upcoming visual, but it means something, I promise). I lightly rub my skin in the shower, which helps the dead skin fall off, and it hurts because my skin is already so sensitive, but I’ve noticed that this helps with the excess build-up of skin cells; the shedding helps bring new, healthy skin; I lotion afterwards because it brings such a refreshing feeling.

As I did that this evening in the shower, I was also grieving. No, not for the skin :) but for some things and people I’ve lost in my life.

I’ve never had very good boundaries. With painful mistakes, learning experiences, and lots of prayer, I’ve been able to learn what is and isn’t healthy for a healthy relationship/friendship. I’m currently going through a transition of several things: becoming older, a parent to a toddler, wanting more children, learning what behaviors/habits I do and do not want my son to pick up from other kids and their parents. It’s been trying to say the least! I’ve had to re-evaluate the influences in my daily life that might affect my walk with the Lord, including my stumbling blocks and my family life. I’ve begun to painfully help the “dead skin” to shed and bring new, fresh skin.

I’ve had to do this same routine a few times in my life. I tend to like to “rescue” people and it’s been rough on my heart and emotional self to say the least.  As I grieve for a few losses that I see coming within the near horizon, I am hopeful to see the fresh skin underneath. What things are going to help me be the best mom, wife, friend, daughter that I can be? It’s not an easy decision to grow up, to realize your responsibilities and what you believe in; these things come before the things that you’re used to in life.

Within my life I’ve had to understand that some people walk into this new path with you, encouraging you and supporting you, even if they aren’t at the same crossroads. Then there are those that don’t walk with you, the skin that is shed. Grown up decisions are hard but in order to become the person that I need to be, I have to make them. Boundaries, sigh…I’m still learning about them and I KNOW I’ve crossed a couple thousand in my lifetime, but I’m learning. 

So maybe evaluating your life and where you’re going, and even with whom, isn’t “very pretty” but it’s that big ADULT step that is! The life that’s forming beneath the dying relationships and bad habits will spring forward growth, and new life; that is what my goal is. To constantly bring “pretty new skin” to my life, emotionally, spiritually, healthy……

A Pro-Active List

When John and I first got engaged we took a seriously dating course at our church. At one meeting they asked us to make a list of the things we expected out of each other once we were married. My list was very straight forward: John will take out the trash, John will help carry laundry, and John will plan date nights. To be honest, I can’t remember what his list consisted of J but apparently it’s going well since I’ve had no complaints. Haha

 When we decided to get pregnant, I did the same thing but of things I wanted to teach Dennon and things I wanted our family to value. For instance: I wanted to use a different word than “No”. Although I’m sure one day he will, I couldn’t stand hearing a little kid scream “no no no” all the time. So, I wrote down 1. Want to say “Don’t Touch”. I also wanted us to eat dinner as a family, my kid would learn how to sit at the table and eat with people.

  I think it’s really important for parents to stop and think about the things they want to instill in their children, BEFORE they actually have children. Being a parent isn’t an easy thing and honestly, to me, it’s not a natural thing. I have to work at it every single day. My list helps me immensely, I’m able to reference it every once in awhile and make sure that the things that were important to me, I’m working on.  I have one job right now and it’s to raise my son. Just like when I was married, I had to adjust to learning how to live with another person, I wanted to be the one who cooked, managed the finances, kept our house running, so I had to learn how to do that.  But right now, Dennon, is 24/7 my job, so I take it very seriously. I want to instill good things in him, I want to already create a stable foundation in his little heart and I can’t just simply hope that one day it happens. I have to work at it moment by moment, lesson by lesson and sometimes, mistake by mistake.

I think some people just have kids willy nilly and don’t realize all that comes with it, not only are you responsible for this little life but they are a product of their environment and well, what is  the environment you are giving them? Now, I know there are different circumstances and stories for everyone, so I am speaking generally. Your job as a parent isn’t just to keep your kid alive (though that’s good too).  If your kid doesn’t say please and thank you, are you teaching them to? Do you?

A few weeks back I was bummed because Dennon didn’t wave hello and goodbye to people. You always see adorable little kids doing that and I wanted him to be adorable too! Then I realized, we don’t wave, John and I don’t wave to him or really to other people. So, we started doing it and sure enough he picked it up. Goodness, so what does that say about everything else, if I want him to clean up after himself, we have to teach him to now. Even though he’s little, we can already start putting these things into action, so, at bath time, we put our toys away. When I do my makeup and he’s fumbling with my brushes and such, I asked him to get them a put them back in the bag. He does!!

Why do I say all this? Well, if you aren’t a parent yet or maybe you are, stop and take some time to write down the things you want to teach your kids, the values you want your family to hold important to them. Now they are right in front of you, put them into practice. The things you want them to find important, won’t be, unless you teach them so, it’s our jobs to pass on good choices, values and such to our children.

Here’s a little taste of my every growing list:

      1.       I want my kid to say please & thank you

2.       I want my kid to learn that he can be on his own for short periods of time

3.       I want my kid to be loving

4.       I don’t want my kid to say “no” all the time

5.       I want my kid to shake hands before he high fives J

6.       I want my family to have Jesus Christ as the center

7.       I want my family to value dinner time

8.       I want my family to talk to each other about their days

9.       I want my family to be helpful to other families

10.   I want my kid to learn to clean up after himself

11.   I want my kid to understand consequences

12.   I want my kid to learn to dance

13.   I want my kid to talk in sentences not just single words

We honestly work on these every day..some days it’s a success and some days it’s not but the point is, that’s my heart and with it written down and in front of me, I’m able to keep reminding myself that this is my job right now and I can do it. It’s an honor and a blessing to be able to teach this little life. It certainly isn’t easy but it’s a noble job.
 

His Rib

 

Last weekend, John and I went away for the weekend and drove down to San Diego for some Husband & Wife time. We went to the Supercross race, had dinner together and cuddled constantly. It was divine! As we drove home, the song we first danced to on our wedding day came on the radio, “God Blessed the Broken Road” by Rascall Flatts. That’s when I realized that lately I’ve been so terrified of losing myself in my mom/wife life, that I haven’t focused on losing myself in him. He is an important part of this family and sometimes because he’s off working, I forget that I need to invest just as much time in us growing together, as I do in me staying “full of glitter and laughter”. I think it’s important for me to remember that investing pretty in my life includes investing pretty and time into his. Being his wife is an honor and I need to take the time and express that to him.

As we drove home, holding hands and listening to our song, I was reminded of a “God-moment” that we had shortly after the wedding. I was driving home from work one evening and I got to thinking about our lives and how we would probably have children and then we would need to pay for their weddings, college education, private school, and diapers!! I started to hyperventilate and literally needed to pull off to the side of the road. At that time, we had just moved into a studio guest house apartment, we were living pay check to paycheck and saving quarters to do laundry. Our future seemed so distant, scary, and EXPENSIVE!! I finally caught my breath and continued driving home.

Later that night after John came home from school he showed me this drawing he drew; it was the side of a person, skin open exposing the ribs. A hand had one of the ribs and my wedding ring was around it. As he showed it to me he said “because you’re my rib”.

Now for those of you who are going “aww…” yes, yes it was an aww moment, but I was more astounded at how cool God is. You see, years previous to this moment, back in my sophomore year of high school, I was friends with Leanne and Jessica. We were all active in youth group and there was this older kid (I think he was 18) and he was a youth leader, he was IN LOVE with Jessica. She was the youngest of us and he told her that she was his rib and he knew the Lord created her and him to be together but he knew that right now was not the perfect timing, he would wait for her. Now, as cheesy as we all pretended it was, I secretly loved it. I told myself that I wanted that same thing. I wanted my future husband to be so sure; I wanted to be his rib. I never, never, ever told John this story; in fact I didn’t even remember it until he showed me that drawing.

Moments earlier I had been freaking out about our future and how I was too young but God was so faithful and so reassuring. It was an awesome feeling to have him show me that drawing and tell me that I was the only one meant for him, I was his rib. He now has that tattooed on his side and it’s a constant reminder of our past and our future. It may be hard, harder than we possibly thought, but as long as we are in it together and going back to God daily, then we’ll make it through.

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If you’ve ever had a really cool God moment like this, or heard of one that happened to someone you know, please share it below in the comment section!!

Cooking...Cooking..Cooking

I snagged my gorgeous husband with not only my good looks, dimples, and great style but also with FOOD. After awhile of talking and flirting (he was too cute, I just had to see more of those beautiful blues!) I happened to mention that I love to cook, he challenged me and so I offered to make him lunch and take it to him at his job the following Monday. He loved his lunch and well, I’m still making him lunch five years later! I love to cook and always have, so I try to incorporate new flavors and new dishes into our weekly menu.

A girlfriend and I were chatting last week, she came over and saw me preparing my shopping list and asked me how I plan out meals and such. I really don’t have time to do lots of extravagant meal planning and I thought maybe the way I’ve organized our meals might help someone else. So, here you go!

I have all these recipes for dinners that I’ve got collecting in my files, so I finally decided to slowly put them to good use. A few days before I go shopping, I sit down and write out my list; first I go through my recipes and pick two new dinners and one baked item (I usually cook one new recipe a week and one baked item every two weeks).  I write down the items I’ll need for that week, and then go through my cupboards and fridge to include what other items I need to stock up on. Note that your grocery bill will increase a bit the first few times you do this, mainly because you need to stock up on certain spices or ingredients you don’t already have. The bill goes back down once you’ve got a good amount of regular items in your cupboards.

Now, I don’t sit down and plan menus or anything like that. On any given day our dinner situation can change, I might be not feeling well or have a church meeting. John also works two jobs so it’s just not effective for our family. I only have the two meals planned and then I buy other items for quick homemade meals. I find that if I try to stick to a menu I get overwhelmed and stressed if I can’t keep to it.

What’s really effective about making recipes and trying new things is 1. It usually creates left over’s, so you save money on buying lunch items for the next day. 2. You find new things to take to potlucks or other people’s houses 3. It’s an affordable way to try new things with your family.  Maybe you can only do one new recipe every other week that works; it just takes a little planning.  So, whether you are married or single, I encourage you to try those new recipes you have collecting dust in your desk, on your bookshelves, it will be well worth it!  Every woman needs a pretty little, delicious recipe up there sleeve!!

There are a few yummy dishes and baked items in our recipe section, take a visit and try one this week!

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Do you have an effective meal planning routine? Do you have a yummy recipe you’d like us to share on this blog? Leave a comment below!

A Little Pretty is Important

As busy wives, moms, girlfriends etc., I think sometimes we can lose sight of ourselves. We can get so caught up in making sure everything around us is operating smoothly, that we forget to look in the mirror and look nice today. We get comfortable within our relationships and then we find out that we don’t do the cute, girlie little things we used to do. I think it’s important to be able to do both; to be a strong independent, happily in love woman and to well, look pretty.

I remember when we first got married how I would ask John if he liked my outfit, and he’d go “yeah”. I’ve learned over the years not to ask if this goes with that, he’s never been much help, which is okay but he would say " You don't have to impress anyone you know."

Over the years I’ve been criticized for my fake nails, my makeup, and my high-heels. People automatically assume that because you like to look nice, or you like get dolled up, that you have something to prove to people and that you’re insecure. Well, I like to look nice. I like makeup, nails that match my toes, and having a flower in my hair. It’s not something I do for anyone. I do like to look nice when I’m out with my husband and it’s something I try to do for him, but the confidence and feelings I get because I appreciate how I look, is something for me. Now, I’m not saying that every time you leave your house you should look like a Pussycat Doll. I just think it’s a good idea to take pride in the care of you.

A few years back a girlfriend of mine and I were chatting, she’d recently had a child and lost a parent. She was mentioning that she felt uninterested in anything and that it was even affecting her relationship with her husband, her sense of self worth was lost. I told her: “Take your time the next day. Wake up and get ready, do your hair, put on some makeup and just allow yourself to get ‘pretty’.” When I saw her next, she looked beautiful! She’s a pretty woman; simple, fresh, and just lovely. Although she still may have not felt completely better, she looked good and I could see a little bit of her confidence coming back.

Taking pride in how I look on a day to day basis has helped me in the long run with “bad press”. When someone ridicules me or says something that hurts my feelings, I’ve found it’s easier to let it slide off my back because I like myself. I work daily on not only who I am as a person but also how I look. Those two little steps have led to me being a confident woman. I do have my moments, as does anyone about insecurities and flaws but having confidence has helped me to get over hurt feelings a little bit faster.

Sometimes it takes the simplest thing to make us a feel a little bit better. I really do believe that the confidence we have doesn’t come from things other people say but how we feel about ourselves. If that bright pink lipstick or glittery eye shadow makes you feel pretty, then wear it and show off your pretty!

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What’s that one thing in your life that makes you feel just a little bit more confident? That smoky eye shadow or a cute sundress?

Mine is my “Pin Up Barbie Pink” lipstick!

I’m telling you, that lipstick makes me feel girlie and delicious!

On a day when pink lipstick is too much, I like to make sure my hair is done,

just a little something that makes me feel confident about myself.

My hair looks nice.

A Lesson Still Learning

In 2007 John and I got married; life was grand and not so grand. Most people say the first year is the hardest and well with us, I think the 2^nd year was. We needed someone to talk and help us through some of our own issues, so we went to see a counselor. We are still happy and in love almost five years later and though marriage isn’t always a cake walk, we are in it for the long haul!

Fast forward a little bit to a few nights ago when we were re-decorating our living room. Adding new couches opened up a lot of space and the walls needed some pictures and pizzazz. As John was hanging up our “wall words” we began to chat about moving into our first little apartment back in ‘07 and just reminiscing about how far we’ve come in such a short time. I mentioned our short stint with the counselor and John says:

“Oh I hated her.

Remember that time she asked you to leave the room?

She kept trying to get me to admit that I wasn’t

 attracted to you and that’s why we were having issues.

She told me she was surprised that we were together

because I’m so good looking and then she saw you.”

For those of you whose mouth has dropped and you are saying “WHHHAAAT”. I know…I know…I know!

Now, I can be stoic and hold my emotions pretty well…so we continued on with the night; put up the wall words, made dinner, ate dinner, and watched TV. Then I secretly escaped for a 15 minute cry in our bedroom. Later John noticed that something was wrong and we chatted about it. He apologized for even telling me and tried to console me.

This happened Saturday night and since then I’ve been replaying the entire talk in my head over and over. I am not over it; even as I write it to you, I’m still not over it. There are so many things that can be said about how unprofessional she was and all that but more. I’m concerned about how I reacted. The strong hold that it had, and still has, on me is what I’m trying to work on. I have lots of women who tell me how handsome my husband is, LOTS, but I’ve never been insecure about it. I know he’s handsome and I always thought it was a compliment. This completely changes what I thought about the role I play next to John. Do these other women we run into think the same thing when they see us together?!?

It’s been a rough couple of days. Those comments kind of linger in my thoughts and I have to shake them off. I try to replace those negative comments with the ones John tells me all the time. I replace them with the ones God tells me. It isn’t easy. It’s never easy trying to heal a wound. This situation, it created a wound...one that feeds into a lot of other insecurities and moments of self doubt. I’m still trying to heal and I honestly don’t have a cute little, glitzy catch phrase to help me get over this one.

All I do know is that my husband loves me and tells me I’m beautiful. God created me in his image and made me beautiful. I may not feel beautiful at this moment in time but that doesn’t mean I will allow someone else’s thoughts to hold any weight over how I view myself. I will continue to try not to wrap myself in the thoughts and comments of others. Here’s to learning this lesson so I can teach it to my son one day.

A Perfect Memory

My parents got divorced when I was eleven; a few weeks before Christmas. One of my favorite memories is of them dancing in our living room. When I was little, I would catch them every once in a while, dancing close with the lights down low. It was so beautiful to me and even though they don’t dance together anymore, it’s still a memory of love that I hold dear to my heart.

Years later my favorite part of wedding planning was practicing our first dance. I can see us so clearly dancing in my parent’s living room to “God Bless the Broken Road” by Rascall Flatts. Now that we’ve started our family and life gets so crazy sometimes, I’m glad that every once in awhile John will come to me and go “dance with me”. There we’ll dance, in the living room, while dinner is cooking, Dennon is talking, and life is moving faster than ever but there in that moment, it’s just him and I …just like when my parents would dance. When I’m in his arms, I feel so blessed, so beautiful, so lucky to have found my life-long dance partner.

Marriage is a dance, taking turns leading, supporting each other and though the beat may change constantly, you are there to hold each other through it all. Those moments that we share, remembering how in love we are, they are important to keep us in step with each other. Life gets busy. Life gets hard. Don’t forget to dance; don’t forget to hold each other.

It’s in those quiet moments that I’m reminded of how important I am to him. It’s not always easy to remember to stop and tell each other how much we mean to the other. That closeness is so important for, not only us but my heart as a wife. As a woman I need him to take me in his arms and remind me that I’m the only one he wants to love for the rest of his life. I need to be so close to him that I remember what it feels like when our hearts beat together, these moments make the long hours at work, hard days with Dennon, arguments over silly things, reset! It’s like an overflow of love to help us face a few more days, months, years.

I’m so thankful that, even though my parents are no longer together, they left me with a perfect memory. A memory that has become part of my life and hopefully a part of my sons life too. I pray that one day he turns to his wife and asks her to dance in the living room.

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Congratulations to Jessica Vernabe!!

Who was randomly selected to win an O.P.I giftset,
 thank you those who entered!!

Give Away #1

Give Away Time!!

Our first ever Giveaway is going to be an AWESOME Pedicure set, compliments of O.P.I.   valued at $12.99

Included in this set:

-Start To Finish Clear Top Coat

-Massage Lotion

-Softening Lotion

-Smoothing Lotion

-Expert Touch Lacquer Remover

-25CT. Expert Touch Nail Wipes

-Toe Separators

Good Luck!!

*These 7 tools will help keep your feet shining & gorgeous in those “pretty” little pumps!*

How To Win:

All you have to do in order to get entered in our drawing is to simply leave a comment below about:

A favorite thing you do to “keep a little pretty” in your lives ,whether a busy mom, wife, girlfriend or woman in general

 “I will randomly pick a winner from a selection of the comments!”

Winner will be announced and emailed  Monday Morning @ 10:00am PST

Unplug and Invest Time

The other night two girlfriends and I were talking about the “scary” parts of being a parent. I’m the only one with a child but they both have really good insight. I had mentioned that I think an important part of being a parent is making sure that your voice is louder than all the voices of the world. But how can we do that when the world seems so much more appealing than us? I think in order to even have a voice in our children’s lives, we have to unplug and get down to their level. In a world full of baby Einstein, Disney and Sponge Bob, it’s easy to put on a show and get a moment’s rest.   As Dennon gets older it turns into, Television, Movies, Magazines, Friends at school.This has been a battle I refuse to lose with my own parenting skills and Dennon.  So, I start investing my voice in him now, I have to unplug and actually get down to his level, crawl around, sing patty cake a million times, and listen to the banging of the pots and pans.  I can't expect him to listen to me or come to me for advice if even now at his young 14 months, I don’t talk with him, create a bond with him, show him that I have time for him, his thoughts and his ideas.

Numerous times in my relationships with close friends I’ve had them tell me “You’re opinion means a lot to me and I value what you have to say” or “I could hear this little Rachel voice in my head”. Those are huge compliments and they warm my heart, but how did I get to that level of friendship with them, that they respected what I had to say? Time. You have to invest time into people, build relationships, listen to their hearts. People know when you are too busy for them, they know when you’d rather be doing something else. I love being the one a friend calls when they need advice or just someone to listen to them vent. I believe we have to apply the same principles to our relationships with our kids. In order to have a voice louder than the world’s or even a voice at all, we have to build a strong, trusting relationship with them. They have to really know and feel deep in their hearts that we ALWAYS have time to hear them or be with them.

I want our home to be fueled with family time, laughter and the day’s stories. Not just TV, video games and the computer. Shouldn’t we be teaching our kids how to communicate and unplug too? This world has so many distractions, some wonderful and some not so wonderful, but if we get so caught up in them we won’t be able to teach our kids how to focus on the important things about life and building relationships.

With Dennon, I feel I have so much more to learn but I keep trudging along, I stop and be silly with him, I include him in dinner, in cleaning and in the parts of my life that have to get done daily. We have silly songs, silly dances and lots of laughter, sure in the back of my mind sometimes I’m like “I just want to watch that new episode of Glee, I have to work on "Converse" stuff, I need to steam clean the rug, I should clean out the junk drawer.” But all those things will come; right now he’s dragging blocks one by one and putting them on my lap, time to focus on him. We may not be able to sit down and have deep conversations, but this is how I begin to show him that he comes first and is important to me.

You know the saying, "actions speak louder than words". So what actions in your life are you just using words for? How can you learn to unplug today so it will help you with your relationship(s) tomorrow? Enrich someone else’s life by stopping what your doing and putting a little pretty into them!

A First Impression

John has got me hooked on the show “How I Met You’re Mother” and we’ve been watching it before we go to bed at night. Last night I had the weirdest dream. John and I were a part of the show’s gang and we were visiting Barney at his apartment. As we entered the garage and walked out towards the building we looked around and noticed that there was trash everywhere; it was disgusting and smelled horrendous. When I asked Barney why all the filth he said, “Oh yeah, you have to walk through the garbage dump to get to the front door”. We all looked at each other and continued on, the walk was about five minutes long and it just got worse and worse. When I awoke I couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that the show had made it to my dreams. Such a weird dream, but as I thought about it more and more this morning, I had an epiphany! When you meet someone for the first time, do you make them walk through the garbage dump first?

John and I went to a party with another couple a few months back and as we were meeting others at this party, we were taken aback by the raunchy mouths, stories and language these people were using. Everyone was pretty much our age but they just let out their whole lives; bad, ugly, and even worse. When we went home we both talked about how interesting it was that these people were not embarrassed by their words or behavior and that everyone just falls in line. Just recently I went to a friend’s house and one of the girls was sharing about how she just sleeps around and doesn’t really care, another girl was candidly talking about her abortions and one even mentioned that her New Year’s Resolution was to “sleep around”. Here I am never meeting these women before and this is what they offer up.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I hear these comments and I don’t judge the person, we all come from different walks of life and have very different upbringings, scars, and goals. I would talk to these people again and though I may not  agree with some of  their lifestyles, it’s not my job to condemn them. I do however find it interesting that people have no discernment about what comes out of their mouths. Yes, we all have failures and moments of insanity but I make sure that the path I leave behind me isn’t full of those remnants, I don’t tell fake stories about my life either but I think it’s important to always be the kind of person that puts a good foot forward. A “sloppy mouth” has never led to a good first impression. I think the same thing goes for people that you meet and you know that every word out of their mouth is untrue, it’s the same scenario, and they feel they need to over-impress in order to be liked.

I want my son to treat each person he meets with respect and kindness. As if it’s an honor to meet them, he needs to keep his mouth intact and he needs to also be real and honest, not faking that he is something he isn’t. I want him to be honorable. I want him to be respectful to not only others but to himself and his own character.

“I think it's time people put more focus back into respecting themselves; realize that you are the one who can teach other's how to treat you. If you start flying at the mouth about a sexual meeting and all your bad judgment in various situations, how are people going to respect you? Aren’t these stories supposed to be preserved for a best friend, someone you can confide in?

That’s what I thought was so profound about this dream. I began to consider my life and thought about the things that maybe I’m offering to people; trash isn’t something that they should be walking through just to come to my front door.

Putting a little pretty in your life isn’t just about looking your best or having integrity, it’s about actually being pretty with your words, your thoughts and your actions. I want to live up to that and I want my children to as well.

Never Hinder, Always Love

On Mother’s Day a few years back at church, my mom spoke about her experience as a mother. If you’ve ever heard my mom speak, you know how incredible she is. She can tell a story and you’ll remember it for forever, she is so wise and so eloquent. I hope one day that I can communicate my thoughts as beautifully as she does.

Like I was saying, she said something that I’ll always remember. She talked about how she had to move from being mom-the coach to being mom-the fan. I guess, I never thought about it until that moment but she completed that transition so beautifully, she’ll probably tell you she isn’t even close to completing that transition. However, it’s never felt that way to me.

I was chatting with a friend today and she was talking about how her mom still hovers over her, if she disagrees with her mom about how she wants to raise/ handle her son, it’s a horrible offense.  Although, my mom and I have run-ins every now and then (usually because of me and my stubbornness) she has always let me find my way. I think in order to be an adult, I needed her to take a step back and allow me to really be one, to be accountable, responsible, and sometimes stumble just like adults do.

My mom has so gracefully moved to the sidelines and continues to be there to help me remember the plays, console me when I’ve lost, cheer me on through the good and the bad.   Having my mother be my number one fan, I believe has helped my confidence and self esteem. Knowing that she was there to encourage and I was never really alone, it helped me become a stable, independent, secure adult. I’ve always respected my mom and her opinion, whether I agree with it or not, which is why I think we have such a good relationship. She taught me to think for myself but not to be so prideful that I can’t even hear other thoughts and opinions about my life. She taught me to stand on my own two feet and thrive, not for her but for myself.

I want to be that kind of mother to Dennon. I see mom’s who at 22 years old are still telling their kids what to think and how to be. I know, easier said than done, my son isn’t that age yet, but as he grows bigger, I realize more and more what a powerful impact my mom made on my life. She was this constant in my life and although I knew it to be true, as did she, I was allowed to branch out and find who I was outside of being her daughter. I have this amazing strength in my life and I know it comes from her. She was the best example of a woman, mother, friend, and wife and even though she doesn’t count my success as her own, I only succeed because of the kind of mother she was and is.

I want my son to know that I am that constant in his life, that as he grows I will be his coach: modeling, teaching, praying earnestly for him. I can only hope that when the day comes for me to move behind the fence to listen, console, and love him I can do it with half the grace and wisdom as my mother. There are so many things in my life that I’ve found are thriving because of the example my mother was when I was growing up, Lord allow me to be that for my son. Allow me to see that he is this little love full of his own unique quirks, habits, paths to follow and that although he is “mine” he is truly yours and that when I move over you can become the coach and teach him things I never could. Allow me to never hinder and always love.

If you are a mom or hoping to be a mom, remember this, your child is not you. Your child has a whole new set of emotions and thoughts, allow them to thrive in those and express themselves. Allow them to find their way, safely of course, but without always holding your hand.  The accomplishment they feel from finding their way with you next to them instead of in front of them cannot be replaced. Allow them to succeed even if it means they fall a few times along the way.

Guarding Your Heart

Proverbs 4:27

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life”.

Last night at Converse our topic was “Guarding Your Heart”.  I think so many teens and people in general forget that if they aren’t careful about their actions, what they say or see, it becomes a part of them and has a major impact on their character as a person.

Back when I was pregnant with Dennon I remember reading an article about this woman who was talking about how she wanted her daughter to have integrity and be a compassionate person when she grew up. She stated that she must have integrity and be compassionate first if she expected those things of her daughter.

Ever hear that phrase, do as I say and not as I do? I can’t stand when people say that; how can we expect those around us or our children to be respectful, kind, attentive to other’s needs if we aren’t? I honestly believe that we can’t even begin to be that kind of person or good example for our children if we don’t first start with guarding our heart.

Luke 6:45

“The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart,

and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.

For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks”.

This verse sums up the kind of person I want to be. I want to bring good to my life and the lives of others, but it’s not something I can just “do”. It’s something; I have to “be”...I have to be good on the inside to do well on the outside.  It’s scary to know that we’ve become so de-sensitized to the world, that we no longer get upset about a toddler in a movie saying the “F” word for a laugh or a billboard with a scantily clothed woman advertising a hotel suite, like you find in Las Vegas. Do we want our children to say the “F” word? Do we want our kids taking some half naked woman to a hotel suite in Vegas? What kind of messages are we sending to our kids if we agree with the world and propaganda that it’s trying to shove down their throats?  Our character is like the roots of a tree; we begin to grow deep in the things that we surround ourselves with and a corrupt tree cannot bring good fruit. So how can we be good people full of moral value and good character when we don’t even take part in those things in our intimate lives?

This is not an easy thing for me but it helps me to know that I’m raising a child who I want to bear good fruit and be an honest good person down to his toes.  To do that, my toes must first do the walking and this is an everyday battle. My heart already has a few “unpretty” things in it; I’m working daily on changing the things I’ve allowed to come into my life. 

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny." -Lao Tzu

I had the kids cut this phrase out last night and told them to hang it somewhere that they would see it every day. Mine is on the mirror in my bathroom.  What things have you grown to accept and make a part of your daily life that you wouldn’t want anyone to know, that you wouldn’t want your children to do? Put a little pretty in your life by starting to be aware of what’s not.