A Lesson Still Learning

In 2007 John and I got married; life was grand and not so grand. Most people say the first year is the hardest and well with us, I think the 2^nd year was. We needed someone to talk and help us through some of our own issues, so we went to see a counselor. We are still happy and in love almost five years later and though marriage isn’t always a cake walk, we are in it for the long haul!

Fast forward a little bit to a few nights ago when we were re-decorating our living room. Adding new couches opened up a lot of space and the walls needed some pictures and pizzazz. As John was hanging up our “wall words” we began to chat about moving into our first little apartment back in ‘07 and just reminiscing about how far we’ve come in such a short time. I mentioned our short stint with the counselor and John says:

“Oh I hated her.

Remember that time she asked you to leave the room?

She kept trying to get me to admit that I wasn’t

 attracted to you and that’s why we were having issues.

She told me she was surprised that we were together

because I’m so good looking and then she saw you.”

For those of you whose mouth has dropped and you are saying “WHHHAAAT”. I know…I know…I know!

Now, I can be stoic and hold my emotions pretty well…so we continued on with the night; put up the wall words, made dinner, ate dinner, and watched TV. Then I secretly escaped for a 15 minute cry in our bedroom. Later John noticed that something was wrong and we chatted about it. He apologized for even telling me and tried to console me.

This happened Saturday night and since then I’ve been replaying the entire talk in my head over and over. I am not over it; even as I write it to you, I’m still not over it. There are so many things that can be said about how unprofessional she was and all that but more. I’m concerned about how I reacted. The strong hold that it had, and still has, on me is what I’m trying to work on. I have lots of women who tell me how handsome my husband is, LOTS, but I’ve never been insecure about it. I know he’s handsome and I always thought it was a compliment. This completely changes what I thought about the role I play next to John. Do these other women we run into think the same thing when they see us together?!?

It’s been a rough couple of days. Those comments kind of linger in my thoughts and I have to shake them off. I try to replace those negative comments with the ones John tells me all the time. I replace them with the ones God tells me. It isn’t easy. It’s never easy trying to heal a wound. This situation, it created a wound...one that feeds into a lot of other insecurities and moments of self doubt. I’m still trying to heal and I honestly don’t have a cute little, glitzy catch phrase to help me get over this one.

All I do know is that my husband loves me and tells me I’m beautiful. God created me in his image and made me beautiful. I may not feel beautiful at this moment in time but that doesn’t mean I will allow someone else’s thoughts to hold any weight over how I view myself. I will continue to try not to wrap myself in the thoughts and comments of others. Here’s to learning this lesson so I can teach it to my son one day.

A Perfect Memory

My parents got divorced when I was eleven; a few weeks before Christmas. One of my favorite memories is of them dancing in our living room. When I was little, I would catch them every once in a while, dancing close with the lights down low. It was so beautiful to me and even though they don’t dance together anymore, it’s still a memory of love that I hold dear to my heart.

Years later my favorite part of wedding planning was practicing our first dance. I can see us so clearly dancing in my parent’s living room to “God Bless the Broken Road” by Rascall Flatts. Now that we’ve started our family and life gets so crazy sometimes, I’m glad that every once in awhile John will come to me and go “dance with me”. There we’ll dance, in the living room, while dinner is cooking, Dennon is talking, and life is moving faster than ever but there in that moment, it’s just him and I …just like when my parents would dance. When I’m in his arms, I feel so blessed, so beautiful, so lucky to have found my life-long dance partner.

Marriage is a dance, taking turns leading, supporting each other and though the beat may change constantly, you are there to hold each other through it all. Those moments that we share, remembering how in love we are, they are important to keep us in step with each other. Life gets busy. Life gets hard. Don’t forget to dance; don’t forget to hold each other.

It’s in those quiet moments that I’m reminded of how important I am to him. It’s not always easy to remember to stop and tell each other how much we mean to the other. That closeness is so important for, not only us but my heart as a wife. As a woman I need him to take me in his arms and remind me that I’m the only one he wants to love for the rest of his life. I need to be so close to him that I remember what it feels like when our hearts beat together, these moments make the long hours at work, hard days with Dennon, arguments over silly things, reset! It’s like an overflow of love to help us face a few more days, months, years.

I’m so thankful that, even though my parents are no longer together, they left me with a perfect memory. A memory that has become part of my life and hopefully a part of my sons life too. I pray that one day he turns to his wife and asks her to dance in the living room.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Congratulations to Jessica Vernabe!!

Who was randomly selected to win an O.P.I giftset,
 thank you those who entered!!

Give Away #1

Give Away Time!!

Our first ever Giveaway is going to be an AWESOME Pedicure set, compliments of O.P.I.   valued at $12.99

Included in this set:

-Start To Finish Clear Top Coat

-Massage Lotion

-Softening Lotion

-Smoothing Lotion

-Expert Touch Lacquer Remover

-25CT. Expert Touch Nail Wipes

-Toe Separators

Good Luck!!

*These 7 tools will help keep your feet shining & gorgeous in those “pretty” little pumps!*

How To Win:

All you have to do in order to get entered in our drawing is to simply leave a comment below about:

A favorite thing you do to “keep a little pretty” in your lives ,whether a busy mom, wife, girlfriend or woman in general

 “I will randomly pick a winner from a selection of the comments!”

Winner will be announced and emailed  Monday Morning @ 10:00am PST

Unplug and Invest Time

The other night two girlfriends and I were talking about the “scary” parts of being a parent. I’m the only one with a child but they both have really good insight. I had mentioned that I think an important part of being a parent is making sure that your voice is louder than all the voices of the world. But how can we do that when the world seems so much more appealing than us? I think in order to even have a voice in our children’s lives, we have to unplug and get down to their level. In a world full of baby Einstein, Disney and Sponge Bob, it’s easy to put on a show and get a moment’s rest.   As Dennon gets older it turns into, Television, Movies, Magazines, Friends at school.This has been a battle I refuse to lose with my own parenting skills and Dennon.  So, I start investing my voice in him now, I have to unplug and actually get down to his level, crawl around, sing patty cake a million times, and listen to the banging of the pots and pans.  I can't expect him to listen to me or come to me for advice if even now at his young 14 months, I don’t talk with him, create a bond with him, show him that I have time for him, his thoughts and his ideas.

Numerous times in my relationships with close friends I’ve had them tell me “You’re opinion means a lot to me and I value what you have to say” or “I could hear this little Rachel voice in my head”. Those are huge compliments and they warm my heart, but how did I get to that level of friendship with them, that they respected what I had to say? Time. You have to invest time into people, build relationships, listen to their hearts. People know when you are too busy for them, they know when you’d rather be doing something else. I love being the one a friend calls when they need advice or just someone to listen to them vent. I believe we have to apply the same principles to our relationships with our kids. In order to have a voice louder than the world’s or even a voice at all, we have to build a strong, trusting relationship with them. They have to really know and feel deep in their hearts that we ALWAYS have time to hear them or be with them.

I want our home to be fueled with family time, laughter and the day’s stories. Not just TV, video games and the computer. Shouldn’t we be teaching our kids how to communicate and unplug too? This world has so many distractions, some wonderful and some not so wonderful, but if we get so caught up in them we won’t be able to teach our kids how to focus on the important things about life and building relationships.

With Dennon, I feel I have so much more to learn but I keep trudging along, I stop and be silly with him, I include him in dinner, in cleaning and in the parts of my life that have to get done daily. We have silly songs, silly dances and lots of laughter, sure in the back of my mind sometimes I’m like “I just want to watch that new episode of Glee, I have to work on "Converse" stuff, I need to steam clean the rug, I should clean out the junk drawer.” But all those things will come; right now he’s dragging blocks one by one and putting them on my lap, time to focus on him. We may not be able to sit down and have deep conversations, but this is how I begin to show him that he comes first and is important to me.

You know the saying, "actions speak louder than words". So what actions in your life are you just using words for? How can you learn to unplug today so it will help you with your relationship(s) tomorrow? Enrich someone else’s life by stopping what your doing and putting a little pretty into them!

A First Impression

John has got me hooked on the show “How I Met You’re Mother” and we’ve been watching it before we go to bed at night. Last night I had the weirdest dream. John and I were a part of the show’s gang and we were visiting Barney at his apartment. As we entered the garage and walked out towards the building we looked around and noticed that there was trash everywhere; it was disgusting and smelled horrendous. When I asked Barney why all the filth he said, “Oh yeah, you have to walk through the garbage dump to get to the front door”. We all looked at each other and continued on, the walk was about five minutes long and it just got worse and worse. When I awoke I couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that the show had made it to my dreams. Such a weird dream, but as I thought about it more and more this morning, I had an epiphany! When you meet someone for the first time, do you make them walk through the garbage dump first?

John and I went to a party with another couple a few months back and as we were meeting others at this party, we were taken aback by the raunchy mouths, stories and language these people were using. Everyone was pretty much our age but they just let out their whole lives; bad, ugly, and even worse. When we went home we both talked about how interesting it was that these people were not embarrassed by their words or behavior and that everyone just falls in line. Just recently I went to a friend’s house and one of the girls was sharing about how she just sleeps around and doesn’t really care, another girl was candidly talking about her abortions and one even mentioned that her New Year’s Resolution was to “sleep around”. Here I am never meeting these women before and this is what they offer up.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I hear these comments and I don’t judge the person, we all come from different walks of life and have very different upbringings, scars, and goals. I would talk to these people again and though I may not  agree with some of  their lifestyles, it’s not my job to condemn them. I do however find it interesting that people have no discernment about what comes out of their mouths. Yes, we all have failures and moments of insanity but I make sure that the path I leave behind me isn’t full of those remnants, I don’t tell fake stories about my life either but I think it’s important to always be the kind of person that puts a good foot forward. A “sloppy mouth” has never led to a good first impression. I think the same thing goes for people that you meet and you know that every word out of their mouth is untrue, it’s the same scenario, and they feel they need to over-impress in order to be liked.

I want my son to treat each person he meets with respect and kindness. As if it’s an honor to meet them, he needs to keep his mouth intact and he needs to also be real and honest, not faking that he is something he isn’t. I want him to be honorable. I want him to be respectful to not only others but to himself and his own character.

“I think it's time people put more focus back into respecting themselves; realize that you are the one who can teach other's how to treat you. If you start flying at the mouth about a sexual meeting and all your bad judgment in various situations, how are people going to respect you? Aren’t these stories supposed to be preserved for a best friend, someone you can confide in?

That’s what I thought was so profound about this dream. I began to consider my life and thought about the things that maybe I’m offering to people; trash isn’t something that they should be walking through just to come to my front door.

Putting a little pretty in your life isn’t just about looking your best or having integrity, it’s about actually being pretty with your words, your thoughts and your actions. I want to live up to that and I want my children to as well.

Never Hinder, Always Love

On Mother’s Day a few years back at church, my mom spoke about her experience as a mother. If you’ve ever heard my mom speak, you know how incredible she is. She can tell a story and you’ll remember it for forever, she is so wise and so eloquent. I hope one day that I can communicate my thoughts as beautifully as she does.

Like I was saying, she said something that I’ll always remember. She talked about how she had to move from being mom-the coach to being mom-the fan. I guess, I never thought about it until that moment but she completed that transition so beautifully, she’ll probably tell you she isn’t even close to completing that transition. However, it’s never felt that way to me.

I was chatting with a friend today and she was talking about how her mom still hovers over her, if she disagrees with her mom about how she wants to raise/ handle her son, it’s a horrible offense.  Although, my mom and I have run-ins every now and then (usually because of me and my stubbornness) she has always let me find my way. I think in order to be an adult, I needed her to take a step back and allow me to really be one, to be accountable, responsible, and sometimes stumble just like adults do.

My mom has so gracefully moved to the sidelines and continues to be there to help me remember the plays, console me when I’ve lost, cheer me on through the good and the bad.   Having my mother be my number one fan, I believe has helped my confidence and self esteem. Knowing that she was there to encourage and I was never really alone, it helped me become a stable, independent, secure adult. I’ve always respected my mom and her opinion, whether I agree with it or not, which is why I think we have such a good relationship. She taught me to think for myself but not to be so prideful that I can’t even hear other thoughts and opinions about my life. She taught me to stand on my own two feet and thrive, not for her but for myself.

I want to be that kind of mother to Dennon. I see mom’s who at 22 years old are still telling their kids what to think and how to be. I know, easier said than done, my son isn’t that age yet, but as he grows bigger, I realize more and more what a powerful impact my mom made on my life. She was this constant in my life and although I knew it to be true, as did she, I was allowed to branch out and find who I was outside of being her daughter. I have this amazing strength in my life and I know it comes from her. She was the best example of a woman, mother, friend, and wife and even though she doesn’t count my success as her own, I only succeed because of the kind of mother she was and is.

I want my son to know that I am that constant in his life, that as he grows I will be his coach: modeling, teaching, praying earnestly for him. I can only hope that when the day comes for me to move behind the fence to listen, console, and love him I can do it with half the grace and wisdom as my mother. There are so many things in my life that I’ve found are thriving because of the example my mother was when I was growing up, Lord allow me to be that for my son. Allow me to see that he is this little love full of his own unique quirks, habits, paths to follow and that although he is “mine” he is truly yours and that when I move over you can become the coach and teach him things I never could. Allow me to never hinder and always love.

If you are a mom or hoping to be a mom, remember this, your child is not you. Your child has a whole new set of emotions and thoughts, allow them to thrive in those and express themselves. Allow them to find their way, safely of course, but without always holding your hand.  The accomplishment they feel from finding their way with you next to them instead of in front of them cannot be replaced. Allow them to succeed even if it means they fall a few times along the way.

Guarding Your Heart

Proverbs 4:27

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life”.

Last night at Converse our topic was “Guarding Your Heart”.  I think so many teens and people in general forget that if they aren’t careful about their actions, what they say or see, it becomes a part of them and has a major impact on their character as a person.

Back when I was pregnant with Dennon I remember reading an article about this woman who was talking about how she wanted her daughter to have integrity and be a compassionate person when she grew up. She stated that she must have integrity and be compassionate first if she expected those things of her daughter.

Ever hear that phrase, do as I say and not as I do? I can’t stand when people say that; how can we expect those around us or our children to be respectful, kind, attentive to other’s needs if we aren’t? I honestly believe that we can’t even begin to be that kind of person or good example for our children if we don’t first start with guarding our heart.

Luke 6:45

“The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart,

and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.

For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks”.

This verse sums up the kind of person I want to be. I want to bring good to my life and the lives of others, but it’s not something I can just “do”. It’s something; I have to “be”...I have to be good on the inside to do well on the outside.  It’s scary to know that we’ve become so de-sensitized to the world, that we no longer get upset about a toddler in a movie saying the “F” word for a laugh or a billboard with a scantily clothed woman advertising a hotel suite, like you find in Las Vegas. Do we want our children to say the “F” word? Do we want our kids taking some half naked woman to a hotel suite in Vegas? What kind of messages are we sending to our kids if we agree with the world and propaganda that it’s trying to shove down their throats?  Our character is like the roots of a tree; we begin to grow deep in the things that we surround ourselves with and a corrupt tree cannot bring good fruit. So how can we be good people full of moral value and good character when we don’t even take part in those things in our intimate lives?

This is not an easy thing for me but it helps me to know that I’m raising a child who I want to bear good fruit and be an honest good person down to his toes.  To do that, my toes must first do the walking and this is an everyday battle. My heart already has a few “unpretty” things in it; I’m working daily on changing the things I’ve allowed to come into my life. 

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny." -Lao Tzu

I had the kids cut this phrase out last night and told them to hang it somewhere that they would see it every day. Mine is on the mirror in my bathroom.  What things have you grown to accept and make a part of your daily life that you wouldn’t want anyone to know, that you wouldn’t want your children to do? Put a little pretty in your life by starting to be aware of what’s not.

My Glitter Runs Deep

“I can do it like a brother
Do it like a dude
Grab my crotch, wear my hat low like you”-Jessie J.

“Boy you know you love it
How we're smart enough to make these millions
Strong enough to bare the children
Then get back to business
See, you better not play me”-Beyonce

About three months ago I was at a get together and one of my friends and I were chatting about cupcakes (my favorite thing ever). One of the husbands that was there turned to me and said:

Guy “I can’t imagine you liking cupcakes.”

Me: “What? Why?” 
Guy:“Well, because I don’t think of you as feminine, you know you’re not girlie”.

 Now, never mind the whole “what the heck does that have to do with a cupcake” conversation. I was absolutely stunned, I’ve never had a male say anything like that to me. It took all of me and some strength from generations back to keep my head up and not burst into tears in front of everyone there. The emotion that one comment evoked was unbelievable; I had no idea where this sadness was coming from. Now, in all fairness to this man, he apologized to me later, seeing that a sea of tears was behind my eyes. An HOUR later I was finally able to step into my home, the front door closed and all the emotion erupted right there in my living room. I was hurt, angry, and felt so ugly. This statement, stung down to the core that is me as a woman.

“Me, not feminine? Are you crazy, have you seen my closet, my makeup, my boobs?!” hahahah…

The next few days went and came and it seemed as if every conversation I had came back to that night, I was still tossing and turning over it. I finally told John what happened and he goes:

“Yeah, I see what he means. When I think of you, I don’t think of you as weak”.

Me: “what?! How is being feminine, being weak?”
J: “I don’t know that’s just how I interpret the word”.


 Well, although his reaction made me feel better, maybe this guy didn’t think I was some ugly dude but he just didn’t see me as weak. The next two weeks were rough, I was journaling a lot and down on myself for being so strong and independent. I was feeling like some of those qualities that I had were wrong, that I shouldn’t be so loud, so sure and so solid, maybe it was keeping me from being feminine.


Then one night before I was going out with some girlfriends, I realized, these qualities, the ones that made me seem “less feminine” they attracted my husband to me. He met me strong, he met me independent, and he met me loud, sure of myself. I can drive my truck, change a diaper, change a tire, make a three course dinner, move a couch, and pay my bills, all in a killer hello kitty necklace and 6 inch bright red Steve Maddens. I am feminine, I am girlie, I’m a woman and if the world or anyone’s perception of a “feminine, girlie girl” is mousey, weak, clingy, dumb…well, I say it’s time we showed them what’s up.


“I can do it like a brother, do it like a dude”… I can get dirty and work just as hard, I can make money, pay my bills and no matter how hard a guy tries, I’ll always look better doing it. So I say, ladies, let’s show the world what’s up. Be strong. Be independent. Be real; show um that your glitter runs deep. It’s time that this generation realizes that women, real women come in all shapes and sizes and our femininity isn’t something we take off at the end of the night like a pair of Seven Jeans, it’s in us.


So, let’s be pretty with our tea parties and our cupcakes, our minds and our education. Let’s stand tall and confident whether in pajamas or cocktail dresses. I am woman…hear me roar!

Filling the Voids

My husband John and I got married after only 6 months of dating and being engaged. Here we are almost 5 years later with a beautiful little boy and we are still burning bright. I’ve never felt like this in my entire life. He’s my best friend and though there are days of discord, life is more than I expected and all I’ve ever wanted.

Shortly after we got married I felt lonely and empty. Nothing was going wrong in our relationship but I’d realized that I had become a hermit. I’d let my own relationships slip away and had no place to vent any of my emotion. I had no one to get a drink with, chat with, and be a girl with. I missed my girlfriends, my confidants.

John has always said that I live in a “Disney Princess” world; he teases that I expect him to be my Prince Charming. For the most part, he’s right. I did expect him to be all things for me. After a short while and long chats with my mom, I realized that was an unrealistic expectation. He’ll never be able to fill all the different voids in my life. It’s a hard lesson I’ve had to, an honestly still am, learning.

“If he’s my best friend, shouldn’t he be able to support me, talk with me, understand me the way that no one else can “

I believe this to be a myth that the world and the media teach us from a young age. We are taught to find the perfect man, the sensitive man, the one who will fulfill our every need and every dream. Though I did find an amazing man and he will do all those things, he can’t always do them the way my woman heart needs.

We need to reach out to other women, friends who can help us fill those deep parts of our hearts that our significant others just can’t reach. It’s not an inability on their part; it’s just not the same. Our friends can reach places of us that no one else can, you know, the conversations without talking, the late night pouring out of your hearts, the kind of friends that rejuvenate our souls. We need other women to learn, sort through many different feelings, emotions, and challenges in our lives. We are made for human connection and I think some of us married/ seriously committed women forget that.

Tonight as I sat with two good friends in my living room chatting about our married lives and different challenges we’ve faced. I came to the conclusion that this is how I’ve always put a little pretty in my life. My friends have encouraged me in different ways that if John did, it wouldn’t touch the same places. They’ve supported me in different ways than John, not better, just different. They have encouraged me to shine, to wear the hot pink lipstick, to stay married, to call them when I’m feeling overwhelmed.

Other women speak truth into our lives and it keeps us on point. When we talk, cry, vent with each other it helps to take off some of the“unrealistic expectation” from our husbands/boyfriends. I really believe that if you have a core group of good friends that meet different needs in your life, you become a well rounded person. For example, when I started my blog I asked John to read it, tell me what his thoughts were. He’s done so after each one and it’s always the same “I like it” or “It’s not bad”. Though those are not bad responses and he really does like it, it’s not what my woman heart desires. I’m glad he likes it but I’m looking for dialogue, discussion, encouragement and life provoking thoughts, something my friend Monica can definitely give me. So I ask John’s opinion because it does mean a lot to me, but I also don’t expect him to give me the same answer she will, I don’t get mad or yell and say “you don’t love me, you won’t communicate” I simply take him as he is and look to Monica to fill the “life provoking thoughts” part of my question.

The hardest thing is actually making sure that you take the time for you as a busy wife, mother, or girlfriend. These relationships with friends have to be nurtured and it’s a good thing to take time to do it. So go get dressed up and laugh with a good group of friends, it’s a dose of pretty for the soul.

Treasured Moments

Baby Dennon less than an hour old

When my son Dennon was born, he was 5 weeks early. He stayed in the NICU for 3 weeks due to an immature sucking reflex. Thank the Lord he had no trouble breathing but when we would fed him with a bottle, he’d get very tired and fall asleep. On Thanksgiving Day, the sucking reflex clicked, he was eating well and we said goodbye to the nursing staff and introduced him to our home for the first time. Though finally being able to cradle my baby boy at home, when feeding time came around, I was incredibly anxious. Since feeding had been an issue for him, I would stress and most certainly end up in tears. After voicing my fears to my mom, she told me “Rachel, sing to him. It will cause you to relax”. She was right, as I sang to him I was able to relax and enjoy the closeness of the moment.

Monkey Boy and his mohawk

Now 14 months later, that little monkey boy never sits still. Except for when I sing; right before bed I sing worship songs to him. As I rock him back and forth his heart slows, he snuggles in close and even hums along once in awhile. The beauty that shines from my soul in those moments, takes my breath away. The world has billboard and magazine ads that tell us what beautiful looks like, but why doesn’t anyone ever talk about what it feels like? I know how it feels; it feels like I’m living the call of my life. It’s in these moments that I realize the honor I’ve been given to raise this little boy into a man. In those moments with him I may not be glamorous or have the cutest pajamas but I’m overflowing with beauty. There in that dark room, singing God’s praise, my soul is well.  

Last night as I was singing to him, I remembered my mom and all the comfort she gave to me when she would sing the “Rachel” song, which I now sing to D right before I lay him in his crib.

“Rachel, pretty little Rachel,

Rachel, pretty little Rachel,

pretty little Rachel Girl”

I never realized the effect of those moments with her. This song that once brought so much love to me is now blessing my own son. I can only hope that it will travel to my grand children and great- grandchildren. What is more beautiful than that? A love started from one mother’s heart is being passed on from generation to generation.

I don’t want my story to only be filled with gorgeous glittery shoes and to-die-for MAC makeup. I want it to run deep.  I want it to be a beautiful story full of glamorous, treasured moments that take your breath away. What moments are you taking for granted? What treasured little things haven’t you realized make you and your story beautiful? I challenge you to begin to recognize and carve out those moments in your life, because a story full of love is very, very, pretty.

A Good Friend

A while back I was chatting with my Best friend Tamara, she was talking about how she always remembered my mom telling her that no matter who is in your life, be it your spouse, friend, whoever, they should always make you want to be a better person. Such sage advice, however, I’m the one who told her that not my oh so wise mother who does share lots of tid bits like that.  This one, is mine  TAMARA...Mine~ haha

It seems I use that line in at least two conversations a week; it makes me sad to see that we make such poor choices when choosing friends. A friend, a true friend should push you to be better, should challenge you to flourish in areas that you feel you cannot. 

Rainbow Cupcake In A Jar

As I got together with a friend last night for a yummy dessert (recipe at bottom) and girl time, I contemplated true friendships. At one point in our conversation she looked at me and said “now I understand why you lived the way you did when we were younger, I wish that I would have listened to you about respecting myself and that I am worthy of love and a good man.” Now granted, she wouldn’t have the stories, life lessons she has now and wouldn’t be the same person if she hadn’t struggled; however, it was a nice thing for my heart to hear. I’ve always been the honest friend in my relationships, I’m a straight shot and I’ll tell you how it is. I believe that Integrity is one of the most important things that a person should have. It was nice that my friend saw that in me, may have taken awhile for her to acknowledge it, but we all have a path to follow.

So how can we be a good friend with our integrity in tact? Well I was thinking about that this morning as I was praying for my son.  You know those women who can’t go to CVS for like five seconds without perfect hair and makeup? They can’t take out the trash without a Juicy couture outfit on? Well, I feel to be a good friend, good person in fact, you have to be pretty on the inside to be pretty on the outside.  You can’t put on integrity like black eyeliner; “good friend” isn’t a primer that you wear. They are things that you work towards on the inside, qualities that last a life time and don’t just fit in that adorable Betsy Johnson clutch. Last night when I went to my friends’ house, I had uggs, black pants and a flowy shirt. No makeup and my hair was up in my curls. Now, though I love to be glam and fun, that’s not possible all the time with a one year old. In order to feel pretty and sure of myself on the outside, I had to go through intensive work on the inside. 

  I think that’s where the integrity comes from, I won’t settle for less than I deserve and I’ve found a sense of pride in who I am and the respect I have for myself and my body. I may not look like Heidi Klum and every once in awhile, I’m sitting next to this gorgeous blonde and my insecurities wish I did. However, I can be just as pretty as her, and I truly believe that. My smile can light up a room, my kindness can attract people to me and my honesty and integrity can be sexy qualities. Sounds weird doesn’t it? Because this world tells you it’s not good enough, you have to fit this supermodel mold, this attractive person quota. I refuse to let the world tell me, or my kids if they are “pretty” enough. That’s why I began to put the pretty back in my life. When she told me that she understood why I lived my life the way I did and gave me recognition for being a person of integrity, I felt beautiful, comfortable in my skin because I’ve worked so hard to be happy and beautiful inside.

 I challenge you today, to put a little pretty back into your life, start working on the inside, so that the outside can shine brighter than you ever thought. It’s like that Pink song “Perfect”.  “Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead”. Make a change full of pretty and relish in your beauty!

 **As promised, a yummy dessert recipe. I went to Tamara’s “Girls Night In” and brought one of these for each person. Cupcake in a jar, it was simple and so pretty! They were a delight at the get together! Try it!

 

I printed out these free printable tags and wrote quotes about friendship on the back. It personalizes each lady's cupcake!

Knowing Who You are

"Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
But tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
There's nothing wrong with who you are!”- Jessie J. (Who You Are)

On Wednesday nights I lead a small group at my church for kids ages 13-18, it’s called Converse. We discuss real life issues that teens deal with everyday, whether it’s with God, their parents etc. We are super honest and super transparent. I’ve been leading it for 3 years now and it keeps getting better and better.

A Converse member's drawing

Last night we discussed Self-Worth. I had the kids trace their bodies on butcher paper and we did a few exercises. 1. Circle all the emotional scars you may have 2. Circle the parts of your body you wish you could change. 3. Answer these questions: a) I feel most loved when… b)I feel unloved when… c) I’m ashamed when… D) I like these 5 things about myself… The kids were challenged to be honest and real with themselves, after, we each went around reading each other’s and leaving our thoughts and comments, then we prayed and found a verse in the bible that would help us with how we see ourselves. 

As I went around viewing the things these kids wrote, my heart broke for them.   There were so many negative thoughts in one little person drawing, so much trauma that they’ve been through. Whether, divorce, being exposed to pornography too early, feeling unloved, feeling unworthy of God, etc. there were so many honest comments on those orange pieces of butcher paper. 

Converse Kids reading what the other kids wrote on their paper

As we broke up into groups and prayed, so many of the kids were mentioning how they felt and couldn’t communicate their feelings to their parents.  A lot of the things they were saying reminded me of how I felt when I was a teenager. Back then, I used to say that my mom “wasn’t a cookie mom” that she wasn’t the type of mom who was home when you got back from school with a plate of cookies and talked about your day, she wasn’t an affectionate mom a cuddly mom. I am affectionate, like my dad, I need a closeness a touch, to feel loved and therefore I felt that my mom truly didn’t love me.

As I’ve grown up into an adult, I’ve been able to look back at the relationship I had with my mom and realize that every step of the way, she was there for me. Maybe not in the “Cookie” mom way, the way that I thought mom’s were supposed to be but she was always able to hear me, hear my heart. She always allowed me to be the kid, the teen, the person that I was. She didn’t try and mold me into the person SHE thought I should be, she let me run my course, get the wounds, helped heal the scabs and get over the scars. 

Put a little pretty in your life...

 I am different because of who my mom was to me. She allowed me to thrive even at a young age, how did she do it? With a little pretty, I’ve always admired my mom for being true to her heart. She’s a strong, independent, beautiful woman who wears GLITTER CONVERSE, loves hearts and will read the most amazing, animated stories to my son. When I witness her in these moments, she exudes this beauty that I can only pray I’m able to teach my son. I want him to “Know who he is” and to stand in that, to know that I support him in the kid, teen, person that he will become. I don’t want to be a “Cookie” mom to Dennon, I want to be a mom full of my own pretty, little quirks that make me unique. I want him to be able to show his friends, wife, children that holding onto those quirks will make him the best role model he can ever be.

Use Love as an Accessory

"Beauty I know she is I will be brace I will not let anything Take away what's standing in front of me" - Christina Perri (A Thousand Years)

I serve my husband dinner, every night. Whether we dine at a guests house (unless, they of course, serve us) or I make dinner. When I was younger I got it in my mind that I was going to be the kind of person that would do the simplest of things that somehow get lost as our culture gets more independent and self serving. So whether it’s leaving an encouraging note on a friend’s car when I know they’ve had a rough week or making sure to always serve my husband his meal, I do those things. I know some of you are going “ Oh Jee… he’s an adult, he can serve himself”.

However, serving that gorgeous man, in my too cute Macy’s dress and 5 inch glitter hot pink high heels, with my freshly cleaned shimmering wedding ring, well it’s enough for me to attack him right there in front of everyone. I feel like I shine a little brighter.It’s okay to feel pride in being a wife, no matter what shape or size you are, the most beautiful characteristic is how you love.

So, why is serving him, full of pretty? Well, when we go to functions with people, other women always notice that John sits and I serve him a plate, inevitably some comment gets made about what a good wife I am or how lucky John is. The warm feelings of pride that I get when they all look at him and he turns pink, it paints a heart into my soul..it runs deep. I feel such an honor being able to be the only woman in his life that gets to do these simple things for him. When I walked to him on our wedding day, it wasn’t the money, the houses, the vacations that floated through my mind, it was the rainy days, the pizza on the floor with paper plates, the flat tire, the dance in our kitchen because we can’t afford to go to the Ritz. Those moments fluttered above me as I smiled at him from behind my veil. The simple pride he feels, I feel, from doing a small thing for him, paints a pretty little badge of “awesome wife” on my invisible vest. I’m all about collecting those badges baby!

Tonight as I served John and Dennon dinner I thought about the future and how I want to teach Dennon to not only be a good cook but to be a good servant. To always remember that the simplest of things can go the longest way, whether for daddy or mommy, for a kid at school, or the woman of his dreams. It is so important to be the kind of person that touches people’s hearts. Not just their eyes don’t just speak into someone’s life, permanently stamp it. You know how sometimes you can smell a scent and a flood of memories come back to you? I want to be the kind of person that when you think of me, a flood of love fills you. I want my kids to be that way, to think of others and help others so well that they leave a life-long impression. What is more beautiful than that? And the best thing is…it’s easy. Carve out a moment to bless someone, to say something, to be there for them in the simplest of ways with a card, a hug, a task that they hate to do.

I want the prettiest thing about my outfit to be how much I’m in love with my husband.

My son.

My friends.

So, here’s a winning dinner I just discovered. It is so easy and OH so delicious!! Make it for someone and spread a little pretty in there life!  

 Chili-Lime Pork Loin & Bada Bing Potatoes

* Note, I would use a smaller amount of Olive oil on the potatoes,
it leaves a slight aftertaste. Use just enough to coat them :)